Playing the Field

Last night I met a baseball player at the party I was at. We danced, talked, argued about the Giants, and actually had a really good connection. We made out, but I don’t remember his name (but somehow I remember his position, hometown, major, and favorite color?).

There is nothing a random dance floor make out can’t cure. Being single is really, really fun.

It’s a small world, after all

You will not believe this. Last night I walked in to a party of a frat I don’t really go to that often, and oh my god. I’m having a great time, and then pledge across the room screams “OH MY GOD, YOU TOOK MY BEST FRIEND’S VIRGINITY. YOU’RE THE GIRL.” After a very detailed conversation, I find out he’s referring to the boy in “Devirginized.”

It was actually a hilarious conversation, and my WOWie was there to hear the whole thing. Awesome.

This is what my life has come to.

Epiphany

I really need to start blogging about things other than boys. This is the last post about him (see Sprite & Peach Ciroc, Dear John, Catch of the Quarter, part of 19 Days Later…, and Strings Attached for the full backstory), I promise. Those are a lot of posts (yikes), I know. I had it bad for this boy.

Long story short, I was super interested in him and he was not so interested in me. It happens. I’ve been in that tricky over-you-but-not-really phase for weeks now, and it’s been driving me crazy. But I finally realized why we would never make it as a couple.

So, instead of going out on a Saturday Night like every other college student ever, I stayed in with one of my roommates and knocked out some much needed studying. We needed a break after a bit, so we watched This is 40. The whole movie, I kept thinking about how adorable the two daughters with curly hair were. I’ve always wanted curly hair, but mines naturally stick straight. And that’s when I remembered. When I was about thirteen I made a promise to myself to only seriously date men (not boys) with curly hair, so when I decided I liked one of them enough to get married, I could have curly-haired babies. It makes total sense. John has straight hair, so we were obviously never met to be.

On one hand, I’m so happy to have come to this realization and be 100% donezo with any emotional shit I’ve been carrying around. On the other, I’m actually really pissed I wasted so many calories on Ben & Jerry’s (but definitely try their new Core) and baked goods (you’re welcome) if it was going to be this easy getting over him.

DONE DONE DONE. I feel so light and happy.

Flowerpot Freakout

I’m finally over John. We talked it out, and I got closure from our non-relationship. I’m back in the game! So, I did what all girls newly freed from their feelings do… I texted my ex. Counterintuitive? Nope. My ex (let’s call him Nick) and I were together the summer before we came to Poly (we’re both second years), and was one of my best friends. Nick is funny, smart, hotter than hell, and the sweetest guy I’ve ever dated. Anyways, we had been talking for a bit, and then he invited me to his fraternity’s pledge pinning party. I eagerly accepted, as one of my WOWies is pledging the same fraternity and asked me to come. Here’s how the night played out.

The following timeline is super thorough, so if you don’t feel like reading it all (it’s really not that funny, sorry), there’s a summary of the whole shitshow at the end.

Pledge Pinning: A Timeline

6:52 PM: I complain to Nick about having to wear heels.

6:53 PM: Instead of being productive, I check Twitter/Insta/every other social network.

7:02 PM: Finally start getting ready.

7:05 PM: Burn hand on curling iron.

7:17 PM: Swears at hair for not behaving.

7:32 PM: Gives up on hair and begins doing make up.

7:37 PM: Spills liquid eyeliner EVERYWHERE.

7:45 PM: Hassels roommate/best friend about not being on time.

7:51 PM: Roommate makes shitty Pina Coladas instead of getting ready.

8:03 PM: My Makeup is half-assed but finished, I guess.

8:07 PM: Tries on dress, looks in mirror “shit.”Realizes there’s deodorant stains on dress. Gets call from friend “hey are you guys ready? Our ride is leaving in like two minutes.” “Oh yeah we’re totally ready, give us thirty seconds.”

8:15 PM: Successfully removed deodorant stains. Roommate isn’t ready, taking shots instead.

8:20 PM: Ride leaves without us.

8:27 PM: We realize ride has left without us, roommate and I remove our heels to walk to the pre game house. We don’t want to bring purses, so we decide shoving my apartment key into our flower pot after we lock the door is an acceptable alternative. There is no way this can end poorly.

8:31 PM: We walk 500 feet “what are we doing, we’re so fucked.” I can feel my hair getting flat/frizzing.

8:46 PM: We make it to the pre game.

8:57 PM: First cup of jungle juice: check. Cue slightly buzzed feeling.

8:59 PM: I see my WOWie, we begin dancing. He gets me another drink.

9:03 PM: WOWie returns, I introduce him to my roommate and our other friends. He then gets iced by an active.

9:11 PM: Dancing continues. Second drink done. I am drunk. Jungle juice is strong.

9:23 PM: First bus to the downtown venue arrives. We do not get on bus.

9:47 PM: Second (and last) bus arrives. We miss both.

9:52 PM: Somehow we make it back to our street. There is another fraternity party nearby that we head to.

9:57 PM: I text John “hiiiiiii.” No response.

10:07 PM: We finally arrive at strange fraternity party, even though it is just down the street. I am not entertained. I want to hook up with boy(s).

10:14 PM: I text John again “oh wait yikes I didn’t mean to text you.” I surprisingly make no typos, so I decided that this calls for champagne.

10:32 PM: Roommate confiscates the personal bottle of champagne I’ve been carrying around the party because “I am really drunk and can no longer walk in my heels.”

10:37 PM: I slap the bag to spite her.

10:39 PM: John finally replies “no worries! It’s all good.”

10:40 PM: I decide “killing the drunk texts rn, I look soooo hotttyttytt” is an appropriate response. John does not text back.

10:42 PM: There are no hot boys at this party. I’m not sure where my left shoe disappeared to. They are roommate’s favorite heels. I cannot let her find out.

10:43 PM: I need to hook up with someone.

10:46 PM: I decide to text Nick “hi hook up with me.”

10:48 PM: Nick does not respond. I am impatient. I double-text “but actually.”

10:50 PM: I magically find my left shoe in the bathroom. Dear god I don’t believe in, please don’t ever make me go into a frat house bathroom sober. There’s no way I could do this if I wasn’t hammered.

10:52 PM: We leave strange frat party with about fifteen other people that we kind of know.

10:53 PM: He replies “I’m near *my street name* are you home?”

10:56 PM: I reply “yes, no one’s home” as I’m standing outside my apartment with said fifteen other people. Where is my key? Chaos ensues.

11:02 PM: Nick arrives, and sees a small army of sloppy drunk people outside my apartment. I am looking for the key in the flower pot. He is stone cold sober, and thankfully thinks the drunk disaster is amusing.

11:05 PM: I find the key after basically overturning the flower pot. Oops.

11:06 PM: The drunk mob invades the apartment.

11:38PM: Everyone except Nick finally leaves. There is a 40 on our kitchen table that definitely wasn’t there before.

11:39 PM: He kisses me against a wall. We then go upstairs.

11:43 PM: I’m straddling him, he feels me up.

11:45 PM: “You brought a condom, right?” “No.” “ARE YOU KIDDING? I literally texted you telling you I want to hookup.” “Oh, sorry.”

11:46 PM: He takes off my shirt. I’ve really missed Nick.

11:52 PM: I start giving him head.

11:57 PM: He grabs my hips AND STARTS EATING ME OUT. I realize that we’re 69ing.

11:59 PM: He is really good at this.

12:07 PM: Why did we end things again?

12:09 PM: Wait, no, don’t stop.

12:14 PM: Hooking up with exboyfriends is the fucking shit.

12:32 PM: And we’re done.

12:33 PM: He doesn’t want to spend the night, right? Sharing a twin bed sucks and he’s a total cover hog.

12:34 PM: No no no no don’t try to cuddle with me.

12:35 PM: I decide to be heartless “ummm you have a ride home, right?”

12:36 PM: YES he dialed his frat’s sober driver.

12:36 PM: “He’ll be here in fifteen minutes, is that cool?” Fifteen minutes. Ugh, cue awkward pillow talk.

12:37 PM: “How was your day?” I fucking hate my life.

12:37 PM: I respond with something lame and stupid involving Forever 21 and pumpkin patches #basic.

12:41 PM: Do not ask me what classes I’m in this quarter.

12:43 PM: He asks me about midterms. I respond “yeah, they’ve been going really well.” Lies. I got a 67% on my Managerial Accounting exam Wednesday. I’m a business major, why do I have to take accounting?

12:45 PM: Jesus Christ we’ve literally exhausted every topic possible. I’m just going to lay here and try to shut down his spooning attempts.

12:47 PM: God dammit, I fucking hate spooning. This is so uncomfortable.

12:51 PM: *Nick’s phone rings* THANK FUCKING GOD HIS RIDE IS HERE. Let the awkward fumbling for clothes begin.

12:54 PM: I walk Nick downstairs, give him my charming smile, and lock the door. FINALLY I’M ALONE.

1:06 PM: I pass out, and have pretty much the best sleep of my life.

______________________________

Okay, sorry for the extensive timeline. Basically, I went to the party, got really drunk off like two cups of jungle juice, somehow got back to my apartment, hooked up with my exboyfriend, and then made him leave so I didn’t have to share my bed.

Rebound complete. I could not be better.

Strings Attached

One of the worst things is finally seeing someone’s true colors for the first time. That guy you thought was a gentleman? Nope, think again.

To be frank, John and I have gone from friends to possibly more to friends with benefits in under a month. And I’m done. I’m the last person who can handle a friends with benefits type of situation, so you can imagine the stress that has put on me. Lately, we’ve become further and further from being friends, and closer to just being benefits. I don’t want a 2AM hookup buddy.

I want a guy who will love me for all my flaws, who will buy me books to read instead of drinks. Who will care about all the insignificant details. Who will tell me how jaw-dropingly beautiful I look when I’ve just woken up and have makeup under my eyes. Who will look at how perfect the stars are and argue about postseason baseball with me (the Nationals are going to win it all). I don’t want expensive dinners or fancy jewelry, just be my best friend who I occasionally make out with.

Look, I’ll be okay. It just sucks right now, because I was under the impression that he’s this amazing gentleman. In reality, he’s just like every other boy and only makes an effort at 2AM.

I’m moving on to the next one.

19 Days Later…

Woah, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted last (19 days, if we’re being specific). In between now and my last post (September 8th), I’ve moved back to SLO, welcomed a group of around fifteen new students (wowies) to Cal Poly, started classes, and spent the night with John three times. Yikes.

Let’s start with WOW Week. I was a group leader with an acquaintance that I knew from home (long story short, we crossed paths before we came to college and somehow ended up leading a group together). It was… interesting. We definitely didn’t get along the way I wish we would have. But that’s okay!! My wowies were beyond perfect, and all the stress/tears/effort/7AM meetings were totally worth it. That being said, it felt really good to take off my leader wristband and yellow shirt at the end of the week. One and done.

Immediately following the end of WOW Week, classes started. WOAH. A week into the quarter, and I’m already slammed with schoolwork. I’m not complaining though. I didn’t do too well in school last quarter, so I’m really excited to step it up and perform these next few weeks. I also love all my classes and all my professors, so it should be a good quarter for me.

Time to get to the interesting stuff. John has been back in town for just under two weeks and I’ve seen him almost everyday. He’s slept at my apartment and I’ve slept at his, and we’ve cuddled on his couch for little power naps. There’s just something about him. I made him breakfast one morning (egg whites with spinach, tomatoes, and feta cheese), and he later told me that he bought the same prepackaged egg whites I used. Totally not a big deal, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if it evolves into anything. He doesn’t want a relationship right now, so I guess we’re “just friends.”

All in all, it’s been a crazy couple days. Here’s to the beginning of a new school year and (hopefully) so much more.