Losing your virginity is a sacred experience. It’s something you’ll never forget, days/months/years/decades to come. It’s like your first kiss, but a much bigger deal. It’s supposed to be special. It’s supposed to be with someone you care about.

I lost mine a little under a year ago, about a month before I was to leave for my first year of college. It was perfect. I had really strong feelings for the guy, and he felt the same way. It meant a whole lot to both of us. We aren’t still together, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was everything sex should be: passionate, loving, and just plain fun.

Today, I made a mistake. I went to visit an old friend, and things escalated. We ended up having sex. It was his first time. I took someone’s virginity. It wasn’t like we were in love or he was my best friend– he was just a boy I hadn’t seen in four years. I made a mistake.

But here’s why I did it. Contradicting the recent “Five Reasons Being Single is the Shit,” I am not against a relationship at this point in my life. No, that doesn’t mean I’m actively searching throughout the county for a boyfriend, but I’m not opposed to the possibility. I miss feeling the rush of happiness when he brings you your favorite flowers/donut/smoothie “just because” and the irrepressible smile that spreads across your face when he calls you by your first and middle name.* I miss caring about someone in a non platonic type of way. I wanted to feel loved, even if it was only for three thrusts. I’m not saying that justifies what happened, that’s just why I did it. I’m human, we all make reckless choices. That’s life.


*I know that’s a run-on sentence, I just don’t care. Because it’s actually the most perfect thing in the entire world.



One thought on “Devirginized

  1. Pingback: It’s a small world, after all | The Ravishing Red

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